referral

Today we got our first referral! I was texting my brother when I saw the name of my agency on caller ID. I was so nervous!! I don't know why. The conversation went very much like I expected it to, only I sort of knew right away that this little girl was not ours. Our agency emailed us the file of this most beautiful little chicken. She's so precious. It was emotional. More than I thought it would be. I was very sad that it was one little girl, and not two. I was sad that this baby needs a mom and dad so very much, and I am saying no to her. That's awful. I hope that Heavenly Father told me to say no because her real mama is coming for her. I know that God in mindful of all of those little orphans. I know He is involved in my adoption as well. It is so hard to proceed with faith. I need more of it for sure! I so feel that there are specific kids that are meant to be in my family, and I need to find them. I pray so often for help that I will know my kids when I receive their referral. Oh, sometimes a crystal ball would be nice! This has been a difficult day. I hope for no more of these.

LID

We have a log in date!! 3-6-12!!! There again, I was told 2 to 3 weeks, it took 1!!! We are now good to adopt any child in China!! YAY for US! We can be matched at any moment!! I'm not completely sure how the matching process goes, but we are now eligible to be matched with our girls, so bring it on! We chose our special needs based on the majority in China so that we could be matched quickly, and with 2 children. Obviously, things change from month to month over there, but I do feel, and have felt from the beginning, that God has specific children for our family. We have to have faith that we will be matched with our girls, and that will happen when it's time. I hope it's time soon!

twin girls.

Leap Day!

I just received word that my Dossier has been hand delivered to the CCCWA in China. The CCCWA is the government agency in China responsible for child welfare. They are the ones that will decide when we get our babies! Super cool that it happened on leap day right? China just increased their fees, as of March 1, but thanks to leap year, we had an extra day to get ours in! No fee increase for us. Yay for leap year! We're getting closer babies!! Hopefully we'll be logged in by 15 March. Then, I'm learning we get to do a ton more paperwork! Awesome!! I've been feeling a bit bored without stacks of paperwork to fill out. I can't believe that within a matter of weeks (I hope I hope I hope I hope) we're going to know our babies! There are going to be faces to look at and long for. I totally bought them the cutest ever dresses. Zebra, with stripy leggings. I just went ahead and bought the size that I want them to be. That should work right? The boy was less than impressed, I was giddy! They now hang as part of the decoration in my bedroom. I have to catch my breath every time I go to my room when I see them there. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE MY GIRLS!! We still have a lot of months to wait, and it's going to be a long difficult wait, but every minute we get closer to bringing them home! Hang on little babies, we're on our way!!

New Dates

LID March 15

matched April

Travel by October.

twin girls.

And We're Off!!

My immigration document arrived as promised to my agency today, and tomorrow my dossier will be on it's way to China! I can't believe it! We are so excited! Totally did the happy dance today. So many months and hours of work, done and gone, beautifully bound and organized. I believe it will take a couple of weeks to be logged in to China's system, at which time we'll receive a log in date (LID), and then we can be matched at any moment!!! Oh my goodness! Twin girls! Twin girls! Twin girls! One step closer to our littles!

From Bad to Worse to Rabies!

Yesterday was emotionally exhausting! I came home from my friends house, got looking at laundry and forgot to pick up A from school. I got her home and was talking to her and forgot to pick up the babies from school! When we drove up my parents were here with my cute little brother that just moved home from back east! My house was TRASHED!! So embarrassing. My make-up was mostly cried off, and I cried as I told them about my day, then there was a knock at the door and the blessed UPS guy was there with my sealed I-797C! Yay, this day was looking up. I opened it to show my family and lo and behold, it was not my I-797C, it was some guy's expunged criminal record!! Are you kidding me?? These are very serious documents!! Of course the courier's office was closed but she got a sobbing message from me. Just after I hung up with her, CCAI called me to say "Yay, your dossier is complete and ready to send to China as soon as we get your immigration paperwork!!" Waaaaaaaaaaaa!

Meanwhile, my kids ran in the house telling me that there was an aggressive dog in the front yard. What?? My mom and I decided that the dog was rabid and promptly called the police. I called my friend next door to tell her to keep her kids in the house, this dog was foaming!! The little girl from next door called me back to say that she thinks the dog belongs across the street. They have a dog? I gave her a call. They do have a dog. Then I had to call the police back and tell them the rabid dog had a home, and was just extra drooly, never mind. Oh brother!!!! At that point, we were too exhausted to do anything but laugh!

I went out to dinner with my neighbor/ friend/ therapist for the day, and while I was there, the courier called me to say that they had my document in hand, and would same day it to my agency, and gave me instructions to return the other document that I had received. My blood vessels were broken all around my eyes, my head was pounding, I was so exhausted.

My passion takes over more often than not. I need to reign that in a little, or a lot. Living life with passion is awesome! I find joy and beauty and fun in everything, but as such I'm also prone to disappointment. Oh well, I'll take it. When I was talking to my cute little A about how this day had gone down she said "Imagine it Mom! Imagine it, and it will happen." As I prayed so hard last night to makes heads or tails of this day, that was the answer that I received. Keep on keeping on. Proceed with faith. God is in charge, and He knows us, and is acutely aware of our situation, and knows what is best for our family. Enjoy this journey. Leave the neighborhood dogs alone, they aren't really rabid anyway.

Ignorance is bliss!

Nothing ever stays the same! We have been told this over and over by our agency. China changes her mind over and over and that is the only thing you can count on.

In order for us to get two children, one of them has to be a waiting child (a child with special needs), and one of them has to be a special focus child (a child with more severe special needs). When we started our adoption last year, our agency told us that there were more special focus children than they knew what to do with, and that getting 2 children would not be a big deal. I had also read that we would travel 8 to 11 weeks after we were matched, and I've been ignorantly running with those numbers. Ignorance. No good!

I called our agency today to get a better idea of a realistic time line. I almost wish I hadn't. I liked my time line waaaaay better! She told me that we'd be matched quickly. My idea of quickly is 2 days. Her idea of quickly is 2 or 3 MONTHS! After we're matched, we can start a whole lot more paperwork (I thought I was DONE! except for Visas), and that we'd travel to get our little girl in 5 to 7 months!! That's forever!

Then, the worst part, I asked about getting 2 kids. She told me that that would nearly be impossible, because China has recently changed the qualifications of what a special focus child is, and our medical conditions did not match with current special focus qualifications. The only way we can get two children is by getting twins, almost impossible, there are very few twins.

After crying to my great friend for a while, she talked me through it and made me remember what I have known all along; that Heavenly Father is in charge of this adoption, and our family. Not me, not my agency, not even China. I will get my girls. It may not be when or who, or how I want it to be, but Heavenly Father is in charge. We have to keep going forward with faith, and that's the best we can do. I can't imagine that I'm going to have to have pictures of my girls for maybe even 7 months without having them! That's going to be so awful!

This process is hard. I never realized how emotionally hard it would be. It's very very hard. I have a feeling it's only gong to get a lot worse too. It's amazing, and I have had really beautiful experiences with it, and I know there will be a lot more of those as well. Those beautiful, spiritual, amazing times will get us through the difficult ones.

So, moving on with faith. New time line:

DIC March 10

LID March 25

Match in April

Travel by October

twin girls.

Chinese New Year

Year of the Dragon! We had 8 lucky dragons about the house.

The girls did all of the decorating.

The red ribbons that tie us to China.

Lanterns

Home made fortune cookies with home-made fortunes!

My amazing parents.

On the menu: Sesame chicken, Asian green beans, dumplings, and ham fried rice.

For dessert, our version of Nian Gao (sticky cake), red velvet cupcakes with red (-ish) velvet frosting.

Some of the crowd.

Red confetti, red napkins, and red eyes!

Chickie in her Chinese silks.

My brother brought this gigantic koi! It was awesome! Sort of looks dragonish huh?

It was such a fun party. Our families could not be cooler and more supportive. They are just as excited as we are. And we can't wait!!