Friday at 4:30

Friday at 4:30, my agency closes, and we go another weekend. I keep thinking that we're going to hear any day now, and then every day, we don't hear!! We're so anxious to hear! Every time my phone rings, my heart skips a beat or two. So, it's 4:15, on Friday. Another weekend of waiting. Maybe next week. We are so anxious to get our girls. It get's harder all the time! I guess the longer the wait, the closer we get. I hope it's soon. super soon.

No news is ... no news

That's all there is to write tonight. No news. No news from China, no news from our agency, no news about our girls. My sister asked me the other day if I was going crazy, with anxiety of waiting. I'm not. We are totally at peace. I know Heavenly Father's hand is all over this. I feel it every day, every prayer that is said by any one of us; we ask Him to bless our babies, and help us to get them. He is helping us, and we have to be patient. Not only is he helping us on that end, he's helping us on ours, keeping us calm and peaceful and with knowledge that He's all over this adoption. This journey has been so amazing on so many levels, and coming to understand the miracle of God's presence in our lives has been one of the greatest parts of it all.

referral

Today we got our first referral! I was texting my brother when I saw the name of my agency on caller ID. I was so nervous!! I don't know why. The conversation went very much like I expected it to, only I sort of knew right away that this little girl was not ours. Our agency emailed us the file of this most beautiful little chicken. She's so precious. It was emotional. More than I thought it would be. I was very sad that it was one little girl, and not two. I was sad that this baby needs a mom and dad so very much, and I am saying no to her. That's awful. I hope that Heavenly Father told me to say no because her real mama is coming for her. I know that God in mindful of all of those little orphans. I know He is involved in my adoption as well. It is so hard to proceed with faith. I need more of it for sure! I so feel that there are specific kids that are meant to be in my family, and I need to find them. I pray so often for help that I will know my kids when I receive their referral. Oh, sometimes a crystal ball would be nice! This has been a difficult day. I hope for no more of these.

LID

We have a log in date!! 3-6-12!!! There again, I was told 2 to 3 weeks, it took 1!!! We are now good to adopt any child in China!! YAY for US! We can be matched at any moment!! I'm not completely sure how the matching process goes, but we are now eligible to be matched with our girls, so bring it on! We chose our special needs based on the majority in China so that we could be matched quickly, and with 2 children. Obviously, things change from month to month over there, but I do feel, and have felt from the beginning, that God has specific children for our family. We have to have faith that we will be matched with our girls, and that will happen when it's time. I hope it's time soon!

twin girls.

Leap Day!

I just received word that my Dossier has been hand delivered to the CCCWA in China. The CCCWA is the government agency in China responsible for child welfare. They are the ones that will decide when we get our babies! Super cool that it happened on leap day right? China just increased their fees, as of March 1, but thanks to leap year, we had an extra day to get ours in! No fee increase for us. Yay for leap year! We're getting closer babies!! Hopefully we'll be logged in by 15 March. Then, I'm learning we get to do a ton more paperwork! Awesome!! I've been feeling a bit bored without stacks of paperwork to fill out. I can't believe that within a matter of weeks (I hope I hope I hope I hope) we're going to know our babies! There are going to be faces to look at and long for. I totally bought them the cutest ever dresses. Zebra, with stripy leggings. I just went ahead and bought the size that I want them to be. That should work right? The boy was less than impressed, I was giddy! They now hang as part of the decoration in my bedroom. I have to catch my breath every time I go to my room when I see them there. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE MY GIRLS!! We still have a lot of months to wait, and it's going to be a long difficult wait, but every minute we get closer to bringing them home! Hang on little babies, we're on our way!!

New Dates

LID March 15

matched April

Travel by October.

twin girls.

And We're Off!!

My immigration document arrived as promised to my agency today, and tomorrow my dossier will be on it's way to China! I can't believe it! We are so excited! Totally did the happy dance today. So many months and hours of work, done and gone, beautifully bound and organized. I believe it will take a couple of weeks to be logged in to China's system, at which time we'll receive a log in date (LID), and then we can be matched at any moment!!! Oh my goodness! Twin girls! Twin girls! Twin girls! One step closer to our littles!

From Bad to Worse to Rabies!

Yesterday was emotionally exhausting! I came home from my friends house, got looking at laundry and forgot to pick up A from school. I got her home and was talking to her and forgot to pick up the babies from school! When we drove up my parents were here with my cute little brother that just moved home from back east! My house was TRASHED!! So embarrassing. My make-up was mostly cried off, and I cried as I told them about my day, then there was a knock at the door and the blessed UPS guy was there with my sealed I-797C! Yay, this day was looking up. I opened it to show my family and lo and behold, it was not my I-797C, it was some guy's expunged criminal record!! Are you kidding me?? These are very serious documents!! Of course the courier's office was closed but she got a sobbing message from me. Just after I hung up with her, CCAI called me to say "Yay, your dossier is complete and ready to send to China as soon as we get your immigration paperwork!!" Waaaaaaaaaaaa!

Meanwhile, my kids ran in the house telling me that there was an aggressive dog in the front yard. What?? My mom and I decided that the dog was rabid and promptly called the police. I called my friend next door to tell her to keep her kids in the house, this dog was foaming!! The little girl from next door called me back to say that she thinks the dog belongs across the street. They have a dog? I gave her a call. They do have a dog. Then I had to call the police back and tell them the rabid dog had a home, and was just extra drooly, never mind. Oh brother!!!! At that point, we were too exhausted to do anything but laugh!

I went out to dinner with my neighbor/ friend/ therapist for the day, and while I was there, the courier called me to say that they had my document in hand, and would same day it to my agency, and gave me instructions to return the other document that I had received. My blood vessels were broken all around my eyes, my head was pounding, I was so exhausted.

My passion takes over more often than not. I need to reign that in a little, or a lot. Living life with passion is awesome! I find joy and beauty and fun in everything, but as such I'm also prone to disappointment. Oh well, I'll take it. When I was talking to my cute little A about how this day had gone down she said "Imagine it Mom! Imagine it, and it will happen." As I prayed so hard last night to makes heads or tails of this day, that was the answer that I received. Keep on keeping on. Proceed with faith. God is in charge, and He knows us, and is acutely aware of our situation, and knows what is best for our family. Enjoy this journey. Leave the neighborhood dogs alone, they aren't really rabid anyway.