3 months

February was a ROUGH month. Tate had 3 surgeries in 3 weeks. Exhausting to say the least. He's doing great though now. He has a couple of more procedures on his esophagus and he'll be finished for life maybe. Hopefully. He is very wary of doctors offices now and for sure nervous when he gets pulled out of his bed way too early in the morning, stuck in the car, and denied a bottle. It goes down hill rapidly. He's waaaay too smart.

The babies have re-discovered outside. I hear about 2 million times a day "side!" They love it so much! Emily loves dirt anywhere she can find it.

Tate was really nervous outside in China. They told us he probably rarely left his room and may have spent no real time out of doors. The outside of his orphanage was just a parking lot anyway. There was no garden or play equipment, nothing. Well he is no longer nervous and the more time spent outside for him, the better. Man he is so cute!

Tate is sleeping great. I really can't complain too much. Emily at his family age never slept ever! So I'm so thrilled with his sleeping. He loves to get in Emily's crib with her. Loves it. But his own crib was sheer terror for the kid. He wouldn't even go into the hallway leading to his room until I took the crib out of it. He sleeps on a crib mattress on the floor. I have a twin mattress on the floor next to his bed. He goes to bed brilliantly, then around 3 or 4 he calls for me and I switch beds. twice last week he slept all night and I woke up in my own bed for the first times since coming home from China. Scoooooore. I really don't see this arrangement changing any time in the near future. I don't mind it. Waking up to this guy kissing my eyeballs is the best way. He is so smiley and so happy in the morning.  I love my baby boy!!!

He loves his blankets very much. He sleeps with about 5 blankets.

 

He has discovered taking selfies with Lily and absolutely loves it! He will make whatever face she is making and then take her phone around and show everyone who will look the pictures. Vain. So cute.

Emily is just awesome. She is cutest squishiest thing that there is. She is legally and officially 2!! Again.  Poor thing has been two for like 16 months and has 9 more to go before she'll be 3. She is now in private OT and speech and since she is 2 again, she gets to start back with early intervention. She is still non verbal but is communicating better all the time through signing, and she is responding to language finally for the first time. We are super excited for her. She is just the best thing ever.

 

I cannot believe my fortune sometimes that I get to be the mom to these kids. I will forever see the miracles and blessings that they are. Man we all just love them so much!

Valentines Baby

1 year ago on Valentines day, we accepted the file and started the adoption of Guang Guang! It was nothing short of a miracle that we got to see his file. That story here.

 Every time I look at him, I recognize the miracle that he is in our life. We are so in love with this cute boy. He is quite obviously being raised in a house full of girls as he LOVES "pea poppy" with Lily. Every day, he asks to have a "pea poppy." multiple times. He'll get out the blanket and the tea set, and wait for Lily!

 1 year ago now, I became a mom to a boy! Although I didn't get to meet him until several months later, in my heart and head, he was mine. I knew and loved him right away.

 Still do.

2 months

We have had Tate for two months now. Things feel normal. Just recently. I feel like I know him like a mama. Tate loves outside so much! 

 Tate is doing great things for Emily as we hoped he would. Living in a house of grown up people made it all too easy for her to not "need" to progress and work hard. All of her needs and them some were met anxiously by 5 adoring people. Now she has competition, and is working a bit harder. Tate loves her guts.

 I got a love tackle in action! He gets her good and tight.

 She tries to get away! No luck. He's too strong.

 Down! She fights a little more.

 Play dead. The thumb goes in about now and she resigns herself to get a giant hug and kiss!

 Tate loves his mama who loves him right back! He started napping a little while back and oh my that makes this crazy busy boy muuuuuuch easier to love! His sleeping all the way around is pretty darn good. We are still roommates from about 1 am on, but he goes to sleep beautifully, and I get from about 8pm -1am to regroup and get some stuff done.

 Tate IS a preschooler. Do not bother telling him otherwise. When he is not gnawing on one of my cute little kids, or stealing their snacks, or trashing their artwork, they don't mind him.

 Emily can still take it or leave it. She likes the kids, they like her back, she's usually dressed for school.

 Tate will climb up to the tables and jabber on and on and crack himself up and just be 4!

Having these two about the house is completely awesome! It is my favorite thing! They are nuts, and busy, but on my goodness they are my heart. 

 If Tate has Lily and his blanket then all is right with the world.

 All of my kids love blankets and Tate is no different.  He calls it doodly.

 Messes never cease but sometimes being able to eat dinner is worth it.

 

Tate was born with esophageal atresia. His esophagus went down his throat and up from his stomach but was not attached in the middle. Super mild as far as that birth defect is concerned. Where they attached the two pieces, he has some scar tissue that doesn't allow his esophagus to expand and contract as he eats. Eating is really difficult. Finding food that will go down through the very very narrow part of his esophagus has been a challenge for him and for us. He is super cautious about what he will eat or even try to eat, and finding anything that will keep him fed and full has been crazy hard for us. He finally got to go in and have that narrowing stretched out. They made great progress, but not enough. We will go in every three weeks and have it stretched until it's a good size for him to be able to eat properly without risk of everything getting stuck and coming back up. 

It was an easy procedure and he was amazing! He had to be put all the way out but he came out beautifully. Our experience with Em and anesthesia has not been positive. She comes out swinging. True to his nature, he came out smiling and hungry, downed a bottle and we left. They totally let us keep the socks. score!

We love this baby all too much. Our family feels so different now. It's complete. It's as it was meant to be. There is no one missing. It is the greatest peace that there is for me. We went 10 years knowing that we were missing some, trying to find them and bring them home. This is peace for me in it's purest form.

miracles

Adoption is amazing. In the purest sense of the word, it is absolutely amazing. I over use the word way too much, but it's a good one, and I tend to see the greatest of the great in most situations. Adoption in my opinion is very deserving of the word. It's beautiful and miraculous. A year ago, I saw Tate's picture on a website. He was darling. He reminded me in lots of ways of a little boy that I have known and loved since his birth. I didn't look at his special needs, because I didn't care. I knew him. He was mine.

How does that happen? I had been prepared for the previous few weeks that my last baby would be a boy. I knew and fell in love with this picture, with this boy. I felt him, I knew that he was my son. That is the coolest feeling ever. To recognize your child, and know them, from a photo. Amazing. Really.

He was born to another set of parents a year previous. They loved him a lot. They tried to help him when he was so sick, he would have died very shortly. He had been taken to a hospital when his parents found out the extent of his illness, I am very certain that money was the reason he was abandoned. They could not afford the surgery that he needed immediately to save his life. They took him from that hospital to a different one and left him there. I'm sure they have wondered every day since about their sweet little boy. He was so very very very sick when they left him. He lived, the Chinese government paid for his surgery which is such a tragedy for his poor birth parents. Why didn't the government just help them in the first place? Now the government had another orphan to raise. He was in the hospital for nearly a month, then he was given over to a really incredible US run charity. There he lived and was loved and cared for until last month.

How is it possible, that this baby born on the other side of the world to another set of parents was my baby?  How did we ever find him and know him? How did we feel peace to make this trip yet again? To do the paperwork, to pay the tremendous cost, again? None of it made sense if we looked at it logically.  It just didn't. But, he was ours. We had no other choice but to go and get him. What would we have done if we had never gone to get our little Chinese kids?

Life was good you know. We had grown children. We were planning really cool trips. Our girls were easy, self sufficient, fun, great travelers, all of it. But, that was not how it was to be. Life is meant to have depth.

Looking all over the world, knowing that our last babies were not going to be born into this family, but would be adopted into it. That caused so much growing and stretching. Starting over with toddlers. It's hard! I'm too old to go without sleep. I like routine. I like my own time. I don't get that any more. It's not easy, but it's hands down the most rewarding thing we've ever done. To look into those Asian eyes, and recognize the soul inside is the most amazing miracle that there is. To think of the blessing of these little babies that we would have forgone had we stuck with the easier path is terrible to even consider. 

They are the coolest little people ever. They are part of our family. They are mine.

1 month

Tate has made himself right at home. He has blended just beautifully and we are loving having a little boy around. It's definitely entertaining the stuff he comes up with. The girls love him and spoil him rotten! This one in particular gives Tate his heart's desire. Hmmmmmmm.

Tate got birthday presents when he got home and  we quickly realized that Tate knows about and quite likes presents.

Having 5 kids is a lot more challenging for me than having 4. It can be overwhelming sometimes. My bigs help like crazy. They are completely amazing! As they were all young and raised together, I am so happy that they are getting the opportunity to have and care for younger siblings. Priceless.

These two are getting on better all the time. Tate loves on Emily a bit more than she would like, but he loves her so much, I can't stop it!! He runs to her and loves her right to the ground every time she comes into view. It's very sweet. They were meant to be together. Emily is still shut down, but she is starting to open up a little bit and she is more affectionate than she ever used to be. She is also trying harder than she has been to speak and understand.

Tate totally loved Christmas. Like a lot!

 OH!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! No idea what it is, but I love it so much!!

My favorite photo of the day! Pure joy! It is absolutely amazing to have my little boy finally home!!

 Tate and I are roomies! He makes tiny progress toward healthy sleep habits every night it seems like. The terror of night time and bedtime is nearly gone, we are in a bedroom instead of the living room (because he was so completely petrified to even go into his room, or into the hallway leading to his room...). The overhead light is off, and we are just using a lamp. I was hoping to be down to a night light by this week end, but we'll need a bit more time.

 We took the crib away, that was a big step. Now we are on mattresses on the floor.

 He is speaking more English, and more Chinese. He is like a parrot.

He's very easy going for the most part. Eating is our biggest issue. How long can you live on crackers? 

 He loved the snow and being outside.

 Loves his sisters. He knows their names, and loves them up.

This chicken in her newest silks. We love our littles so much!