Faith over Fear

Last night I learned a really important lesson in our adoption. This whole process has been interesting on so many levels.  I have learned so much!  The most important lesson that I've learned though, and I've said it before is how much Heavenly Father is involved in my life, and most certainly in this adoption. It's so weird filling out paper work on your child. I knew there were specific children that we were meant to adopt.  That said, it sort of felt like mail order; we want this age, this special need, this gender, etc. A lot of people have asked "So, do you get to look at a whole bunch of kids and just pick?" It seems that way sometimes, and it probably appears that way sometimes. I've looked at a lot of children, with different special needs on various websites, and I've said to myself "Oh, I couldn't handle that!" and moved on. Truth is, our daughter is our daughter, and that's it.  I didn't get to mail order my other girls, and I didn't get to mail order this one either. She's ours. We get her with all that she was born with, and we already love her so much! No matter what!

 We got new pictures and new information tonight. She's rocking a newly shorn head. So cute!  She's got a ton of hair already, if they keep shaving it, her pony tail is going to be 3 inches thick! Oh well. We also got a new development update that contradicts almost word for word the update that we got last month.  That's not very good, and I was all sorts of stressed out about it. I called a good friend, another adoptive mom, and she reminded me, that baby girl is mine. She is mine; not her special needs, not her age or gender. Her spirit. Her soul was meant for our family, and I truly believe it was always in the grand plan for her and for us. Heavenly Father lead us to her. He confirmed to us without question that she is our daughter, and so we continue. Faith over Fear. When I hung up the phone with my friend, my boy also reminded me. "It doesn't matter. We'll handle it." It's true. I feel like we just got an unpleasant ultrasound, with unanswered questions, and in a few months we'll meet our girl and hopefully find out the truth about our baby. I've never wished summer away in my life, but I so am this year. I want my girl here, with us, right now!!! Waiting is so so hard!