Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Leap Day!

I just received word that my Dossier has been hand delivered to the CCCWA in China. The CCCWA is the government agency in China responsible for child welfare. They are the ones that will decide when we get our babies! Super cool that it happened on leap day right? China just increased their fees, as of March 1, but thanks to leap year, we had an extra day to get ours in! No fee increase for us. Yay for leap year! We're getting closer babies!! Hopefully we'll be logged in by 15 March. Then, I'm learning we get to do a ton more paperwork! Awesome!! I've been feeling a bit bored without stacks of paperwork to fill out. I can't believe that within a matter of weeks (I hope I hope I hope I hope) we're going to know our babies! There are going to be faces to look at and long for. I totally bought them the cutest ever dresses. Zebra, with stripy leggings. I just went ahead and bought the size that I want them to be. That should work right? The boy was less than impressed, I was giddy! They now hang as part of the decoration in my bedroom. I have to catch my breath every time I go to my room when I see them there. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE MY GIRLS!! We still have a lot of months to wait, and it's going to be a long difficult wait, but every minute we get closer to bringing them home! Hang on little babies, we're on our way!!

New Dates
LID March 15
matched April
Travel by October.

twin girls.

Monday, February 20, 2012

And We're Off!!

My immigration document arrived as promised to my agency today, and tomorrow my dossier will be on it's way to China! I can't believe it! We are so excited! Totally did the happy dance today. So many months and hours of work, done and gone, beautifully bound and organized. I believe it will take a couple of weeks to be logged in to China's system, at which time we'll receive a log in date (LID), and then we can be matched at any moment!!! Oh my goodness! Twin girls! Twin girls! Twin girls! One step closer to our littles!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

From Bad to Worse to Rabies!

Yesterday was emotionally exhausting! I came home from my friends house, got looking at laundry and forgot to pick up A from school. I got her home and was talking to her and forgot to pick up the babies from school! When we drove up my parents were here with my cute little brother that just moved home from back east! My house was TRASHED!! So embarrassing. My make-up was mostly cried off, and I cried as I told them about my day, then there was a knock at the door and the blessed UPS guy was there with my sealed I-797C! Yay, this day was looking up. I opened it to show my family and lo and behold, it was not my I-797C, it was some guy's expunged criminal record!! Are you kidding me?? These are very serious documents!! Of course the courier's office was closed but she got a sobbing message from me. Just after I hung up with her, CCAI called me to say "Yay, your dossier is complete and ready to send to China as soon as we get your immigration paperwork!!" Waaaaaaaaaaaa!

Meanwhile, my kids ran in the house telling me that there was an aggressive dog in the front yard. What?? My mom and I decided that the dog was rabid and promptly called the police. I called my friend next door to tell her to keep her kids in the house, this dog was foaming!! The little girl from next door called me back to say that she thinks the dog belongs across the street. They have a dog? I gave her a call. They do have a dog. Then I had to call the police back and tell them the rabid dog had a home, and was just extra drooly, never mind. Oh brother!!!! At that point, we were too exhausted to do anything but laugh!

I went out to dinner with my neighbor/ friend/ therapist for the day, and while I was there, the courier called me to say that they had my document in hand, and would same day it to my agency, and gave me instructions to return the other document that I had received. My blood vessels were broken all around my eyes, my head was pounding, I was so exhausted.

My passion takes over more often than not. I need to reign that in a little, or a lot. Living life with passion is awesome! I find joy and beauty and fun in everything, but as such I'm also prone to disappointment. Oh well, I'll take it. When I was talking to my cute little A about how this day had gone down she said "Imagine it Mom! Imagine it, and it will happen." As I prayed so hard last night to makes heads or tails of this day, that was the answer that I received. Keep on keeping on. Proceed with faith. God is in charge, and He knows us, and is acutely aware of our situation, and knows what is best for our family. Enjoy this journey. Leave the neighborhood dogs alone, they aren't really rabid anyway.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Ignorance is bliss!

Nothing ever stays the same! We have been told this over and over by our agency. China changes her mind over and over and that is the only thing you can count on.

In order for us to get two children, one of them has to be a waiting child (a child with special needs), and one of them has to be a special focus child (a child with more severe special needs). When we started our adoption last year, our agency told us that there were more special focus children than they knew what to do with, and that getting 2 children would not be a big deal. I had also read that we would travel 8 to 11 weeks after we were matched, and I've been ignorantly running with those numbers. Ignorance. No good!

I called our agency today to get a better idea of a realistic time line. I almost wish I hadn't. I liked my time line waaaaay better! She told me that we'd be matched quickly. My idea of quickly is 2 days. Her idea of quickly is 2 or 3 MONTHS! After we're matched, we can start a whole lot more paperwork (I thought I was DONE! except for Visas), and that we'd travel to get our little girl in 5 to 7 months!! That's forever!

Then, the worst part, I asked about getting 2 kids. She told me that that would nearly be impossible, because China has recently changed the qualifications of what a special focus child is, and our medical conditions did not match with current special focus qualifications. The only way we can get two children is by getting twins, almost impossible, there are very few twins.

After crying to my great friend for a while, she talked me through it and made me remember what I have known all along; that Heavenly Father is in charge of this adoption, and our family. Not me, not my agency, not even China. I will get my girls. It may not be when or who, or how I want it to be, but Heavenly Father is in charge. We have to keep going forward with faith, and that's the best we can do. I can't imagine that I'm going to have to have pictures of my girls for maybe even 7 months without having them! That's going to be so awful!

This process is hard. I never realized how emotionally hard it would be. It's very very hard. I have a feeling it's only gong to get a lot worse too. It's amazing, and I have had really beautiful experiences with it, and I know there will be a lot more of those as well. Those beautiful, spiritual, amazing times will get us through the difficult ones.

So, moving on with faith. New time line:
DIC March 10
LID March 25
Match in April
Travel by October

twin girls.




Saturday, February 11, 2012

Chinese New Year


Year of the Dragon! We had 8 lucky dragons about the house.
The girls did all of the decorating.
The red ribbons that tie us to China.
Lanterns
Home made fortune cookies with home-made fortunes!

My amazing parents.
On the menu: Sesame chicken, Asian green beans, dumplings, and ham fried rice.
For dessert, our version of Nian Gao (sticky cake), red velvet cupcakes with red (-ish) velvet frosting.
Some of the crowd.
Red confetti, red napkins, and red eyes!

Chickie in her Chinese silks.
My brother brought this gigantic koi! It was awesome! Sort of looks dragonish huh?
It was such a fun party. Our families could not be cooler and more supportive. They are just as excited as we are. And we can't wait!!

Our little Chinese Girls

This was a good week. Adoption is expensive, and we knew it would be going in. Every little thing costs a lot of money, and there are lots and lots of little things. They seem spread out, and not so hard to swallow sometimes. The agency fees are awesomely spread out, so there is time to save in between each one. On Thursday, I sent off my immigration approval to Washington DC. It cost me $64 to send it, and $115 to get it authenticated! Holy cow, 1 document!! That was a little rough. Then I received an email that China has raised their fee which will cost me $675 if my dossier isn't received there by March 1. It's going to be sooooooooo close, but well worth a lot of prayers on our end. So this day that I thought would cost me around $50, cost me close to $900!! Whoa! Oh well, it's the price that must be paid, and we do it happily.

I had the most amazing experience on Thursday morning. It started like any other morning. I woke up very early, did my morning routine, woke my family, and got them going on theirs. I remembered in the course of the morning that I needed cream for a preschool project, and it had to be done that day. So, slightly rushed and annoyed that I hadn't purchased the cream the day before while I was at the store, I headed off. I have a new little chant that runs through my head a zillion times a day, and every quiet moment that I get, and thus I began saying it over and over in my mind as I drove to the grocery store. About half way there, i thought my heart would fly away! This feeling came over me that I have felt before, but not frequently and not so intensely. It was a feeling of pure peace and joy. It was lovely and unexpected. It was from God telling me that He is aware of me and our situation, and He is in control of it. It was such a beautiful experience, it will carry me through a lot of difficult times to come.

I feel my Chinese girls a lot. I feel them frequently. It is similar to the mild stress that I feel when my present girls are away from me, or when I am away from them. I really like when we're all together, safe and happy at home, and when we're not, there is a little bit of anxiety, and wonder and hope that everyone is well, and that we'll be together soon. It's not huge, but it's there in my head. I feel that for my Chinese girls all the time. Sometimes I feel it very strongly and it's hard. I don't know where they are, or if they're ok, or if they need to be held or fed and are instead crying in their bed. I feel that Heavenly Father lets me feel some of their anxiety and need at times. It propels me, and binds me to them even though I don't know who they are. We pray for them and their well-being, and peace to know that we are coming. We pray for their health and strength, and happiness. We pray for our paperwork to go quickly and smoothly. And we pray that we will be together at home, safe and happy, very soon. I feel that on Thursday morning, I got to feel some of their joy. Maybe their paperwork got started in China so that they'll be "adoptable" soon. Maybe they feel us too! I don't know, and I probably never will. This has been the coolest journey ever. It has been hard, and frustratingly slow, but over all, so far, it's been really cool.