Saturday, October 27, 2012

1 week home

One week home. Emily is such a blast! We had her doctor's appointment where we learned that our girl is most likely turning 2! We're going to have a party!!
 She always manages to get a leg kicked up when she sleeps.
 Em slept through the night last night!! It was our best night since we've been home. I hope she follows that up again tonight. We've been going on no sleep for far too long.
 She is getting stronger every day. She is holding her body a lot more and has started putting weight on her legs! She loves to stand and for sure prefers it to sitting. She's been using her arms a lot more. Her hands are still super uncoordinated and she can't figure out how to make those little tiny fingers serve her at all. She starts occupational therapy, physical therapy, speech therapy, and mental development soon, and will have them weekly for the next several months.
 Em loves her sisters so much and they LOVE her right back! I have all the help I need when they are home.

 Her appetite has increased 10 fold. She drinks several 6 oz bottles of formula every day, and eats about 3 jars of baby food with a big bowl of rice cereal every day too. Beats the "3, 4oz bottles of formula supplemented with warm sugar water" that she was getting in the orphanage. She's going to GROW!
 We've had so many awesome family and friends come to visit us and we love it so much. Emily still gets overstimulated pretty easily and will start to zone out, but we're seeing that less and less. She's already giving up some of her institutional behaviors, which we like to see.
 She is super ticklish and has the BEST laugh! We are so in love with this baby! She has been the greatest blessing to our family. I am so glad that Heavenly Father chose adoption as a way to grow our family. Biological children are an incredible blessing for sure, but adoption has been an equally incredible blessing for our family.


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Love of Mother

This is the sculpture right in front of Emily's orphange. It is titled on the other side in large Chinese characters "Love of Mother". I was a little offended at this when I saw it. How inappropriate to have this beautiful mother and her baby in a lovely moment in front of a place full of abandoned motherless children.

I have been thinking about Emily's birth mother so much, and I cannot contain my emotions at all. I love her. I feel so much empathy toward her. Emily LOVES. She loves so much. She responds hugely to love. When we were handed our daughter by her orphanage care giver, she was empty. It was sad, and scary, and very very humbling. Her eyes were vacant, she showed no emotion at all, not even fear, she was completely shut down.

We took her back to our room, and we slowly started to see her emerge. Her eyes changed, they came alive. She came alive. Within a couple of days, she was kissing us, and loving us. She wanted to be with us. She did everything in her little tiny power to invite affection, and more affection. She soothed easily, and was starting to seem happy.

Today, only two weeks later, she is pure joy! She LOVES. I was thinking about it last night. When she was found, she was estimated to be a month old. She spent one month with her birth mother. I feel with all of my heart that she was loved. She was adored by her mother. Her mother smothered that baby with kisses galore. She was so loved. For whatever reason she was eventually abandoned, we will never know. But I know that somewhere in China as Em's 2nd birthday approaches there is a woman that is mourning her baby. I pray for her every day that she will have peace in her heart and know that her baby girl with the tear shaped birthmark is well. I don't think she wanted to leave her baby at all. I don't think she had a choice as so many Chinese women simply don't. She kept her for a month though, and she showed her enough love and affection that Em remembered it!

When Emily was left, I think she shut down for two years. She didn't try to move, talk, learn, eat, nothing. She just sat there, largely neglected, and waited for her mother. As I look at the 6 pictures that we had of our girl before we got her, she looks lost, and empty. She had lost the Love of Mother, and had no will left.

She knows how to love because she was once very very loved, and she remembers it. I know she does. She mourned in China for a couple of days, and that won't be the end of it. She has blossomed so brightly before our eyes. Every single day she makes progress. She tries now, very hard. She eats, she works her muscles, and she is getting stronger all the time. Her eyes shine, her spirit is amazing. It has been my greatest privilege to be chosen as her mother. We will always keep her birth mother close. Her first mother who loved her baby girl so much.

So here she is, Miss American Pie. Her first photo as an American! This girl is going to do great things. She was meant to be here, right now. I cannot wait to see how Heavenly Father is going to use my little China girl!

Home!

Em did great coming home. The flights were long, she was tolerant and a good girl! Immigration went smoothly, and she slept the entire last flight which was awesome!
This is the crew that met us at the airport. So much family support it was great!
 Here we are coming down the elevator. I pretty much plowed down those 3 women in front of me when I saw my girls. I couldn't get to them fast enough! I totally knocked that front lady's suitcase to the ground trying to get to them.
 It was so awesome! We were gone for such a long time!! Poor Gary got stuck back there with the bags and strollers. Such a nice boy!
 I had warned everybody that Emily would probably totally shut down when she got around the crowd, but she didn't! She loved everyone, she smiled and laughed, she liked people to hold her. She was adorable!
 Everyone loved seeing her. My nephews had my sister in Calgary on Skype. It was so sweet to have her and her cute kids there as well. We miss them so much!
 The whole airport crew! Best day ever!

The girls decorated the house allllllll up! Friends brought balloons, it was a very sweet homecoming!

 Em crashed, and her sisters kept a constant vigil waiting for her to wake up. They were exactly as I thought they would be. Adorable little mothers. They love her so much and are super super helpful.
 I think I got a little bit jealous because they did everything for her, and I wanted to! I don't think she was phased at all by the constant commotion, but Gary and I were totally over-stimulated! We were totally used to the peaceful one room hotel! Now we had a house full of rooms, balloons, streamers, and super excited little girls that wanted to tell us every detail of their time while we were gone. It was heavenly to all be in the same house together.


There is a lot of love for this little girl!


To think that we have gone from this empty, vacant little orphan girl who was all alone to
this happy, sweet, laughing, smiling, daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, and oh so loved little girl is so overwhelmingly beautiful, I can scarcely take it all in. 

Friday, October 19, 2012

Last Day in China

 Saying goodbye to our friends was so hard. Saying goodbye to their new babies was even worse. We have gone through so much with them, we've been bonded together. Two weeks into it, my feelings on our adoption from China are so strong. We fell in love with this little orphaned girl the second they handed her over to us. We love her every bit as much as our biological daughters. There is truly no difference. This has been the most amazing experience for us ever. 
 Our CCAI guides. They were above and beyond amazing!! I do not have the words to say how much they helped us, and how much we appreciated them. They were incredible.
 Our little China girl! We cannot wait to get her home. Now that we've said our goodbyes, we're ready to be on the plane and heading home. Leaving China is going to be very difficult on so many levels. We have loved it here so much. China is the coolest place ever. I so hope to come back.
 Tonight on our wanderings, we found hot chocolate!! The first I've had since leaving home. Huge for me! Totally savored it, and it was lovely!! Combined with a tirimasu tartlet = heaven!


Her last night in China. Her last night being Chinese. Tomorrow this girl will be an American! She will be part of a huge family of people who love her so much! She will never be alone again. She will never have to fend for herself. She has a herd!! We are so thankful that we listened when we were called to adopt. I for one am going to keep my ears and heart wiiiiiiiide open!! LOVE THIS GIRL!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Last Day in Guangzhou

 Today was our last full day in Guangzhou. Tomorrow morning we fly to Beijing, spend the night, then the next morning we fly home! It's bittersweet saying goodbye to everyone. We said goodbye to two families and it was so sad! I really love these families. For our last day here we went back to Shamian Island with another family. We wanted to explore it a little bit more. There are really fabulous sculptures all over the place, and the most beautiful gardens. It is such a pretty pretty place.

 Em was less than impressed that I stuck her in this line of children. It's tradition though right? When we were at the zoo in Zhengzhou there were several groups of young school children on a trip. Whenever we walked by, the teacher would say something quickly to them and they would all smile and wave and say "Hellloooooo!" It was so cute! When they were walking around, they held onto each other's shirts and backpacks, just like in this sculpture. So adorable!

 Love this girl so much!

 Everywhere is decorated, and it's so clean! There is a lot of pride in China. I love it here!
 Chu Chu and her friend Gary. Oh we love this family and this little girl. I so am not looking forward to saying goodbye tomorrow.

Look who wants to sit up now! All day she's been wanting to sit up! She's been using her muscles more today than she ever has. When I would lay her on the bed, she'd pull her head and shoulders up in a mini crunch and just stay there. So cute! There's a lot of body there, and no muscle tone to speak of, so it's going to be a lot of work for her, but she'll get there. Also today, she tried to hold her bottle, and did hold it on her own for a little bit. She's never been given toys we don't think. She's never had to use her arms or hands for anything. She doesn't know how to use them at all. We have to move her fingers, and actually open them up, then wrap them around something, and close them again to try and get her to hold on to something. I really don't think she ever has had anything to hold onto. She really likes a couple of toys that we brought, and she'll be excited to see them, but doesn't know how to hold onto them, or grab them, or anything. She has neither gross nor fine motor skills at all. She can smile to beat all! She laughs and babbles. Her eyes are bright and she is so full of love. There is so much love in that little girl. She has learned to do kissing because we smother her with kisses all day long. She knows it's affectionate, and she loves it. We get big wet kisses all day! She knows how to love, and wants to love and be loved. Oh my next week she's going to have a whole crew to love and be loved by! This little girl has a FAMILY!!

I'm not certain what tomorrow will bring, I may not post again from China. We love China, and are privileged to have China be a huge part of our life from now on.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Baby Girl

This is our whole travel group, less one family who left earlier. One of the awesome unexpected blessings of this trip was sharing such an immense life changing experience with such amazing people. Two weeks ago we were all total strangers, now we're linked together through this incredible place, and these really beautiful kids. We love this whole group of people, and we've fallen in love with their new children.
 This is little Chu Chu. She LOVES Gary! She plays games with him, and next to her dad, she will only let Gary hold her. We love her and her family! She is adorable and we will miss her.

This is Yao Ming and he LOVES me! He is the cutest little boy oh my goodness. He lets me hold him and love on him and he blows kisses to Emily, then hits her! Oh my goodness I love this baby.
 Em and I went wandering today. She had a rough day, and a really rough night last night. All of the adopted children here have mourned the loss of their orphanage life, and the absence of their Nannys, their second mothers. Emily was happy with us from day one. She accepted us and loved us. Last night, and today, she's regressed a little bit. She's pulled back, and is starting to mourn perhaps. All of the babies have been restless. They sense the change that is happening. All of us parents are anxious about our upcoming long flights. We're anxious about our children at home. We're anxious about our "new normal" and how it's going to go, and the babies are picking up on this. We think that it has just hit Emily that we aren't going away, and that her little life is getting rocked upside-down. She has been far less generous with her smiles and affection today, she's cried for the first time since we got her. I've been so stung up, going on no sleep and stressed out about my baby, we just needed a quiet moment to reconnect. I found it in this little park. It was quiet, uncrowded, and so very beautiful. We sat on a bench together, I took off her socks (and got told off for it by a cute old lady so we had to put them back on), and we just sat. We held hands, and enjoyed the moment. She didn't smile much, but it was just what we needed.
 When we got home, she laughed and smiled with us, she took a nap, gave out some kisses, and was back to herself a little bit.
 Her little life is going to change oh-so-much. It breaks my heart in half to think of all that she's going to have to take in in the next several weeks. It's not going to be easy on her. We love her so very much! We know this is the best thing for her, but it will come at a price.
 Self portrait at the park shortly after our scolding for not having socks on.
I read a story today about a baby girl that was abandoned in China. She had a tear drop shaped birthmark right under her eye that the Nannys at the orphanage said was the tear from her mother who would love her and miss her forever. Our baby also has a tear shaped birthmark. As her birthday approaches, I've been thinking about her wonderful birth mother, who first loved her, who had such high hopes for this baby, who let her live and who surely must miss her desperately. I will pray that she will have peace in her heart and know that her baby is so very very loved, and will be taken care of and cherished for her whole life. We are so blessed and so lucky to have this beautiful daughter in our family.

x


Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Shamian Island

 We had another free day today. I wish there were fewer free days, and we could go home sooner! We went to Shamian Island today. It's the coolest place. It looks like New Orleans Square at Disneyland. There are these fabulous sculptures all over, and beautiful gardens, and awesome architecture! We only spent a couple of hours there, and the heat got to everyone so we left. We'll go back for sure though and wander some more. We came home and Emily was OUT! We have a really early day tomorrow and needed her to go to bed early tonight, so we woke her up after a couple of hours. We ordered Papa Johns pizza for dinner. It was lovely!!
 I think she is the cutest thing ever!
 Before bed, we went on a walk. We found this super awesome alley way near our hotel. It was very narrow, very crowded, and lined with little shops and street vendors on both sides. It went on for quite a while. There was laundry hanging from the electrical wiring, and people were familiar with one another. There was a lot of chatter, and acknowledgement of friends. It was the coolest thing ever. So real, so not touristy. I loved it.
 Dragon Fruit.
This girl is the queen of chill-ax! She just hangs out, twirls her ankles, and babbles. She is so cute! On the way home from our walk, we got totally lost! The boy insisted that we weren't lost. "Just keep turning right on main roads" he insisted. He was totally right. We finally made it back.  

Tomorrow morning is our consulate appointment.  Then we get her visa, then we come home! We got her passport today and can i just say I want an 8 X 10 glossy of her passport photo!  So cute!