Ignorance is bliss!

Nothing ever stays the same! We have been told this over and over by our agency. China changes her mind over and over and that is the only thing you can count on.

In order for us to get two children, one of them has to be a waiting child (a child with special needs), and one of them has to be a special focus child (a child with more severe special needs). When we started our adoption last year, our agency told us that there were more special focus children than they knew what to do with, and that getting 2 children would not be a big deal. I had also read that we would travel 8 to 11 weeks after we were matched, and I've been ignorantly running with those numbers. Ignorance. No good!

I called our agency today to get a better idea of a realistic time line. I almost wish I hadn't. I liked my time line waaaaay better! She told me that we'd be matched quickly. My idea of quickly is 2 days. Her idea of quickly is 2 or 3 MONTHS! After we're matched, we can start a whole lot more paperwork (I thought I was DONE! except for Visas), and that we'd travel to get our little girl in 5 to 7 months!! That's forever!

Then, the worst part, I asked about getting 2 kids. She told me that that would nearly be impossible, because China has recently changed the qualifications of what a special focus child is, and our medical conditions did not match with current special focus qualifications. The only way we can get two children is by getting twins, almost impossible, there are very few twins.

After crying to my great friend for a while, she talked me through it and made me remember what I have known all along; that Heavenly Father is in charge of this adoption, and our family. Not me, not my agency, not even China. I will get my girls. It may not be when or who, or how I want it to be, but Heavenly Father is in charge. We have to keep going forward with faith, and that's the best we can do. I can't imagine that I'm going to have to have pictures of my girls for maybe even 7 months without having them! That's going to be so awful!

This process is hard. I never realized how emotionally hard it would be. It's very very hard. I have a feeling it's only gong to get a lot worse too. It's amazing, and I have had really beautiful experiences with it, and I know there will be a lot more of those as well. Those beautiful, spiritual, amazing times will get us through the difficult ones.

So, moving on with faith. New time line:

DIC March 10

LID March 25

Match in April

Travel by October

twin girls.