miracles

Adoption is amazing. In the purest sense of the word, it is absolutely amazing. I over use the word way too much, but it's a good one, and I tend to see the greatest of the great in most situations. Adoption in my opinion is very deserving of the word. It's beautiful and miraculous. A year ago, I saw Tate's picture on a website. He was darling. He reminded me in lots of ways of a little boy that I have known and loved since his birth. I didn't look at his special needs, because I didn't care. I knew him. He was mine.

How does that happen? I had been prepared for the previous few weeks that my last baby would be a boy. I knew and fell in love with this picture, with this boy. I felt him, I knew that he was my son. That is the coolest feeling ever. To recognize your child, and know them, from a photo. Amazing. Really.

He was born to another set of parents a year previous. They loved him a lot. They tried to help him when he was so sick, he would have died very shortly. He had been taken to a hospital when his parents found out the extent of his illness, I am very certain that money was the reason he was abandoned. They could not afford the surgery that he needed immediately to save his life. They took him from that hospital to a different one and left him there. I'm sure they have wondered every day since about their sweet little boy. He was so very very very sick when they left him. He lived, the Chinese government paid for his surgery which is such a tragedy for his poor birth parents. Why didn't the government just help them in the first place? Now the government had another orphan to raise. He was in the hospital for nearly a month, then he was given over to a really incredible US run charity. There he lived and was loved and cared for until last month.

How is it possible, that this baby born on the other side of the world to another set of parents was my baby?  How did we ever find him and know him? How did we feel peace to make this trip yet again? To do the paperwork, to pay the tremendous cost, again? None of it made sense if we looked at it logically.  It just didn't. But, he was ours. We had no other choice but to go and get him. What would we have done if we had never gone to get our little Chinese kids?

Life was good you know. We had grown children. We were planning really cool trips. Our girls were easy, self sufficient, fun, great travelers, all of it. But, that was not how it was to be. Life is meant to have depth.

Looking all over the world, knowing that our last babies were not going to be born into this family, but would be adopted into it. That caused so much growing and stretching. Starting over with toddlers. It's hard! I'm too old to go without sleep. I like routine. I like my own time. I don't get that any more. It's not easy, but it's hands down the most rewarding thing we've ever done. To look into those Asian eyes, and recognize the soul inside is the most amazing miracle that there is. To think of the blessing of these little babies that we would have forgone had we stuck with the easier path is terrible to even consider. 

They are the coolest little people ever. They are part of our family. They are mine.